Some of the Crazy Fu#@*ng Emails We Get

We should share these. I enjoy reading them and wondering 
who actually falls for some of them. See if you recognize any . 
 
Check back often, because we get a crap-load! 
If you get a really good one send it to Submissions@birminghamfreepress.com 
with "crazy F-ing email" in the subject line. 
 
From: Ms. sanson
Subject: The Facts!
 
Hello,
I write to inundate on your recent dealings with my boss. I was a member of the 
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) on local and foreign debt attached to the 
World Bank office in Washington, DC, USA. I resigned honorably when I discovered 
the unholy activities of my colleagues during a private investigation I carried 
out. I suspected some kind of foul play in their act which they would never 
inform me because they know I would never be a party to such as a Christian.

I discovered that my boss connived with some top officials of the World Bank to 
divert funds approved to settle lottery winners, international contractors and 
withheld inheritance. The World Bank has already given approval for these 
payments while they deliberately withheld your payment file. They incessantly 
ask you for one fee or the other from different quarters in order to justify 
their selfish interest. I wonder why you haven’t noticed all this.

Well, I just hope you believe me, if not, your fund is gone. Your fund is 
currently authorized to be paid to you from a financial consultant in the UK or 
US, approved by the World Bank with a Key Tested Reference/Claim Code Numbers, 
which was supposed to have been issued to you, but they decided to divert your 
attention by telling you that they have something to do with one committee or 
the other especially in Holland (Amsterdam) or Africa and they make you believe 
that the fund will be transferred into your account – FALSE!

The reason why I am giving you this information is because of the fact that I 
was aware of it and my doctrine does not permit me to withhold such information. 
The only help you can get from me now, is the actual link to your payment, 
please do not give this information to my boss as he may influence a total 
blockage of your payment, so you have to be very careful with this information.

Upon your response, I shall give you all you needed to contact the World Bank 
payment centers in UK or US.

Yours truly,
Ms.Tracy Sanson
FBI/WB. WDC, USA.
 
 
 
 
From: Khalid Ahmed 
Subject:Charity offers 
It was copied twice for some reason. 
So I passed it on that way
 
Dear Friend,

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe 
everyone will die someday. My name is Khalid Ahmed a merchant in Medina Saudi 
Arabia.

I have been diagnosed with oesophageal cancer.  It has defiled all forms of 
medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, 
according to medical experts.

I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and 
extended family members as well as a few close friends. I want God to be 
merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give also to charity 
organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So 
far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the Kuwait, 
Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do 
this myself anymore.

I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the 
money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Ireland; they 
refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as 
they seem not to be contempt with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of eighteen 
million dollars $18, 000, 000, 00 that I have with a Finance/Security Company 
abroad. I will want you to help me collect/receive this deposit and dispatched 
it to charity organizations.  

You can also reply me on my direct Email : (Deleted) for 
confidentiality as I'll be awaiting your quick response. For your time and 
honesty, I have set aside 10% for you.

Warm Regards
Khalid Ahmed


Dear Friend,

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe 
everyone will die someday. My name is Khalid Ahmed a merchant in Medina Saudi 
Arabia.

I have been diagnosed with esophageal cancer.  It has defiled all forms of 
medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, 
according to medical experts.

I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and 
extended family members as well as a few close friends. I want God to be 
merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give also to charity 
organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So 
far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the Kuwait, 
Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do 
this myself anymore.

I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the 
money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Ireland; they 
refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as 
they seem not to be contempt with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of eighteen 
million dollars $18, 000, 000, 00 that I have with a Finance/Security Company 
abroad. I will want you to help me collect/receive this deposit and dispatched 
it to charity organizations.  

You can also reply me on my direct Email : (Deleted) for 
confidentiality as I'll be awaiting your quick response. For your time and 
honesty, I have set aside 10% for you.

Warm Regards
Khalid Ahmed
 
 
 
 
From: Kitty
Subject: Looking for a wealthy husband for joint sex and happy life.
 
Hello again - you give me all this time did not write, you are fed up with me to 
communicate - or just email for a long time? Write to me - I now have a website 
but still icq, and msn, I'd be happy to talk to you, your Yana from Russia! 
 (followed by a link. Sorry, we will not share)
 
 
From: Alan ......  
Subject: THE CLASSIFIED SECTION
 
Hi Classified Section,

I humbly write to place a Give away classified AD.I want my AD to run for 2 
weeks.


AD TEXT:
My Grandson 2008  Kawasaki KLR 650 Motorcycle for give away.if intrestested 
please contact me via email at  (deleted for the protection of the not so bright).


I will be glad if you can furnish me with cost and the means of payment.
So i can reply you with my full details.
Note:I am giving the motorcycle out for free..
Please Forward this to the classified Dept

I await your response.
Alan
 
 
From: "Shang Lee Esq"
Subject:Thank you for your consideration.
It was addressed to "undisclosed recipients"

Dear Friend,
Thank you for responding to my email. I am happy reading from a person with the last
name of my late client  I had contacted you earlier through an informal and
unsecured public interaction medium, as there appear to be no choice left for me in
reaching possible members of my late client's extended family. This did not make me
feel comfortable disclosing much information on my purpose of contacting you.
As I intend to communicate to you, my late client made an investment involving a sum
of 6.8 million U.S. dollars initial deposit (funds set aside for his business) in a
fixed deposit with a commercial bank since 1995. I was contacted by the bank after
the death of my late 
Client to locate members of his extended family who could be beneficiary or trustee
to his abandoned personal assets. More so, I have received official letters in the
past weeks, suggesting proceedings for confiscation of his deposited funds in
accordance with the existing laws, as it is assumed that no member of his extended
family is alive.
After exhaustive search through the embassy and on professional consideration, I
engaged a wide search with the assistance of an insider with the office of the
Chambers of Commerce here , to locate a credible person with this last name, who
could apply for the release of this funds. I have contacted you on professional
consideration, as I know that you will be able to make this claim successfully and
legitimately without any form of complications. I am here saying that the procedure
to be adopted in pursuing this claim is 100% legal. All I ask of you is to go about
this claim as I will advise and we will be glad on this shortly.
I propose that 40% of the net sum will accrue to you at the conclusion of this deal
in so far as I do not incur further expenses.
I will appreciate a verbal communication with you, so we can discuss in details. You
may send me your telephone number. Please advice on your schedule, so I know the
best time to reach you.
Contact me through this email for further confidential correspondence:
(Email Address Deleted)

Regards,
Shang Lee Esq

From: Email Programs
Subject: Your Email Has Won (Congratulations)

Dear Email Owner, 

We happily announce to you the Email Support Programme results which you 
were declared a winner in the Email Draw Category. You have therefore been 
approved to receive the sum of  500,000.00Euro. To receive this prize money,
send an email to Mr. Jimmy Clark  is expected to process your prize 
payment immediately he receives an email from you confirming receipt of this message.
Email: (deleted)
 
From: Dr. Phil Evans 
Subject:My Name is Mrs Barbara Manenga
 
Good Day!

My name is Mrs Barbara Manenga a dying woman who has decided to donate
what I have to charity through any thoughtful and selfless someone, I got
your information while browsing through the internet, although I am not
comfortable using this medium owing to the unsolicited emails everywhere
but someone has to be used to save this transaction. So, I honestly crave
your indulgence to digest and do what I have to say, please.

I am a woman who was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago, after the
death of my husband who had left me everything he worked for. I have
decided to donate from what I have inherited from him for charity through
you since I cannot do it all by myself considering my condition.

I have WILLED the sum of US$7,500,000 to you for the less privileged
rather than allow my greedy relatives to use my husband's hard earned
funds inappropriately.

I will be going for an operation tomorrow morning and at the moment I
cannot take any telephone calls, however, I have adjusted my WILL and my
Executor is aware. Please, you and he should arrange the transfer of the
funds from my Bank to your humble self, wherever you are. Please contact
him with his private E-mail:
--------------------------------------------------
BARRISTER JEFFERY EDWARD
E-mail: (deleted)
--------------------------------------------------
With your full names, phone/fax numbers and or your contact address and
tell him you are the one that I have WILLED the sum of $7,500,000 to, for
specific and good work. I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in
this matter until the task is accomplished as I do not want anything that
will jeopardize my last wish. I will try and be in contact with you at any
given opportunity.
I wish you all the best and, please use the funds well and always extend
the good work to others.

Regards,
Mrs. Barbara Manenga
Noted Dr Phil Evans is my personal doctor and I am sending you this mail
through his email.


Dr.
Specialties:
Radiology, Diagnostic
Clinical Interests:
Biopsy; Breast Conditions, Breast MRI.
Appointments:(Deleted)
 
 
From:Koh Beng Seng 
Subject: Read and get back
 
Read and get back!!
 
I am Mr. KOH Beng Seng Independent Non-executive Director Chairman of Bank of China
Ltd, Hong Kong.
 
An Iraqi named Abrahem Hussein Raheem,a business man made a numbered fixed deposit
of Sixty Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch.
Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, even during the war, Five years ago
(2006). Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came
from him. We later found out that Ahmed Sadoun Salih and his family had been killed
during the war in Gunfire that hit their home at Mukaradeeb where his personal
oil-well was.
 
After further investigation it was also discovered that Abrahem Hussein Raheem did
not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his
bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no
one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Sixty Five Million Five Hundred
Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come
forward to claim it. What bothers me is that according to the laws of my country at
the expiration seven years six months the funds will revert to the ownership of the
Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.

I want to assure you that this project is real, and one hundred percent risk free
and does not relate to any breach of law or proceeds from drugs. It is a matter of
necessity to contact you for assistance without any further investigations about
your person, it is therefore necessary that you tell me a little about yourself, I
hope no form of betrayal will be experienced in the course of our collaboration,  I
must give you my trust because this transaction is no joke and such opportunity
comes once in a life time.

My proposal to you is that I prepared to front you as the sole beneficiary of my
deceased client so that i can instruct BANK OF CHINA to release the deposit to you
as the closest surviving relation or business partner. Upon receipt of the deposit,
I am prepared to share the money with you in half fifty percentage. If interested do
send me your full names, current home address, phone number, your occupation to this
email account

Your earliest reply will be appreciated.

Yours Truly,
Mr. KOH Beng Seng,
Independent Non-Executive Director 
Chairman of the Risk Committee, Hong Kong.
 

From: Young Keith
JOB OFFER!!!!!!! {WILL YOU LIKE TO WORK ONLINE?}
 
Hello,
 
Here is the detailed information on the part time job. EASTGRACE CORPORATION is
seeking a part time bookkeeper to work either one day or two days depending on their
schedule. This person will be responsible for basic check and balance, invoicing,
check cashing. 
 
This position does not affect your present job. Our company produces various
clothing materials, batiks, assorted fabrics and traditional costumes. We have
clients we supply weekly in the states and my clients make payments for our supplies
every week. These payments can not be processed outside the united state.
 
So we need someone in the States to work as our representative and assist us in
processing the payments from our clients and I will pay you a weekly wage, by
percentage. All you need to do is receive this payment from our clients in the
States and get it deposited or cashed in your bank. You will be getting %10 on each
payment you process as your own fee of working for my company. I want you to get
back to me with the following information’s if you are interested.
 
FIRST NAME..............................SURNAME..................
ADDRESS......................................CITY..........................
STATE........................................ZIP CODE....................
COUNTRY...................................................................
PHONE NUMBER (S)...............................OCCUPATION........................
GENDER...............................................
MARITAL STATUS......................
AGE........................................NATIONALITY...............
 
Kindly send the required information to me via my email if you  are willing to work
from home part-time and get paid weekly by 10 %.Thus Your information will be
forwarded to our numerous clients in the states so as to issue  out payment. Hoping
to hear from you soon. Please reply back to me asap .
 
Regard,
YOUNG KEITH
ACCOUNT OFFICER 
(Deleted)